We as men need men for friendships. Often we think that we do not have a need to build relationships with other men in our lives. But the contrary is true and very essential in our lives. There is a need in every man for meaningful relationship of his own kind. We need quality exchange with other men. This will in turn enable me to value and magnify the lady in my life. The quality of men in my life is extremely important to the portrait that I will build of me. You will only excel in the company of those that are superior to you. I need both, the man that Iam comfortable with and with the man that Iam uncomfortable with. This is essential for the success in my life. I need men that can learn from me and men that I can learn from. Associations are the transference of credibility or loss of it.
Now how do I access such men and what do I look for to help me build such relationships. The following is taken right out of some notes that I had made while hearing a man of God teach on this subject, which I have found both encouraging and essential in my own life when I started to put these few pointers in use.
1. Access the fear of God present in their lives: It is the fear of the Lord that keeps a man from being unfaithful. The fear of God is the invisible compass for our behavior. It is the ability that enables us to acquire both knowledge and wisdom. A man’s obsession to please God is his indication of the fear of the lord.
2. His loyalty: Is he loyal where he is? Loyalty at any cost is a character trait that will bring you to the top. Loyalty is being true and honest to the person we are under, in a way that we are working for God. If you are working for someone that does not admire you and what you achieve then ask God to put you elsewhere. If you are doubtful of the man that you work for, then your work will be flawed and you start to prostitute yourself. Listen to the sound of loyalty and disloyalty. Are they loyal to their wife? Are they unfaithful to their wife? Discretion is proof of loyalty. Covering the weaknesses of those they protect is a proof of loyalty. Never stain the reputation of other people. David always was loyal in all his deeds. Even though they were not his friends he still had loyalty to the position 2Sam 1: 1- 16. Being loyal to a principle proceeds loyalty to a person. Being loyal to principle will always cause you to be loyal to person that holds that principle. True loyalty warns and advices the person that you are loyal to. You want men that fight for you and not lie for you.
3. His Focus: what is the dominant focus of his life? What does he permit, pursue and protect? Is he a lover of pleasure or the lover of greatness? Who are his heroes? Assess their knowledge level and knowledge passion. Be an ingredient in peoples’ lives for their excellence. Be the voice in peoples’ lives that propelles them to their dreams.
4. Who are the people he listens to: who speaks into his lives? Who else matters? Who has the ability to change, affect and correct him?
5. His seriousness about accuracy and integrity: Can you depend on the statistics he gives you. Can you depend on his excellence? Is he real and genuine? Does he want to fix your problems or does he want to help you cover your problems. If I bond with a man I must have full persuasion that I can depend on what he says. He must be able to distinguish between an opinion and that which is accurate. Never cover your mistakes, but rather confess them.
6. Look for productivity: What has he produced, what are his goals and dreams? What has he done with his life and what does he want to do with his life.
7. Look carefully at the quality of the friends they are comfortable with: see the quality of the friend of your friends. Whose company do they cherish and enjoy. Whose voice do they value?
It is impossible to put a monetary value on a good man. It is going to cost me relationships that I now have in order to bond with people that have succeeded in lives. Bond always with people who try to do their best and have a desire to accomplish something in this life.
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